Options Make Life More Comfortable

It is a reality that most people need to work to earn money. Without employment most people do not have sufficient means to survive. There is nothing surprising about this. At the same time a lot of people back themselves into a position where they need the job they are in, or at least that's what they believe.

Needing a job and needing this job is not the same thing.

Life is much too stressful if you are stuck in a job, even if it is a job that you like. Your livelihood is controlled by whims of decision makers that may not even know you. If an organization decides to stop doing what you do, there is a very real chance that you may no longer have a place in that organization. 

It is important to be able to do something else. It may not pay as much, especially in the beginning but being able to move on your terms makes everything more tolerable.

Broad experience is very important. Taking two steps back and understanding the fundamentals of what needs to be done is very powerful. The industry specific knowledge is important but it can be learned quickly. Knowing how action A impacts outcome B is much more important. 

However, the most important thing to know about any job is the common denominator of all organizations. It doesn't matter if it is a government organization, a charity, an educational facility, or a business. It does not matter if it is big or small. It doesn't matter what it is trying to do. All organizations are made up of people trying to accomplish goals. That's it.

Knowing this means that you can take what you know at one place, add in a bit of industry specific knowledge and be successful elsewhere. You can make the change. You can lead the way.

All of this to say if you want to be more comfortable, make sure you have a variety of experience. Make sure you can apply your skills to a multitude of situations. It may mean you need to take some courses to round out your knowledge. So do it. 

I saw Lou Holtz speak. If you don't know who he is, he was the Head Football Coach at Notre Dame University and at the University of South Carolina. One of things he said is don't let others get in the way of your success. Just because someone else doesn't think you can be successful, don't let them win. It might be hard, do it anyway. You might not be ready, do it anyway. It might not be perfect, do it anyway. If they can't let you be successful, walk away and be successful elsewhere. Do it anyway. Have the options to walk away to and the courage to do it if the time comes.

Most pursuits you will either be successful or you will quit. Don't let the organization quit on you. If they can't handle it, move on and do it anyway. Set yourself up for success. You may not move on tomorrow but if you feel they are holding you back, you will move on someday.

Best New Year Change

Don’t think too much about what the start of a new year actually is. Think a lot more about how it can help you organize yourself. The passing of a planet past an arbitrary point on it’s orbit is unremarkable. It is something not worth noting. Yet we do. Humans seem to like beginnings and ends to things.

You will see a lot of new year advice. There are the oldies to make a resolution. Be a better person. There is the more modern remove anyone or anything that doesn’t serve your purpose. These are ok. If you don’t want to think too hard they work for you. If you surround yourself with a bunch of people who think just like you and don’t challenge you, nobody will get in the way, even if they should be. For a long time yes-men were looked down upon. Oh, how times  have changed.

All this to say, maybe there is a bit more to the celebration of the passage of time. Maybe this isn’t a time to make changes but to look inward and see who you really are and what you really want. 

I’m finding that you need to put your stuff out there, amongst people who don’t always agree with you if you want to grow. Honestly, I’ve known this for a long time. But how do you get people who differ from you to hear you out in a world where so many people are quick to drop anyone from their life who doesn’t unilaterally support them? How do you get people to open up to you?

First, you need to look at how you approach interactions. It matters less who is right or wrong and more about how people feel interacting with you. No matter who you are speaking with and what you are speaking about, it is critically important to try to leave them thinking that even if they don’t agree with you, they felt heard. They felt like they could share their thoughts and answer follow up questions. The last part is a lot more critical than you realize. If people don’t feel like they can clarify their position, then they probably won’t have a good feeling about the interaction. They will not feel seen and they are less likely to engage with you in the future.

Most people know that not all of their ideas will be accepted and incorporated. However, they want to have a chance to share them. If you don’t give people a forum to speak, they will take their best ideas elsewhere.

Second, you need to subdivide your message into manageable bite sized pieces. You may have the best idea in the world but if it is presented in an overwhelming manner, almost nobody will take it in and spend some time pondering it. Human attention spans have always been short. With the current access to information and the ability to quickly switch it off or move on to something new, most people’s attention span will not be getting any longer. So you need to get them hooked quickly and make a part of your point succinctly. You will often need to elevator pitch someone. Admittedly, I don’t love this. I enjoy long-form story telling. I like losing myself in a long story from someone else. But most people tune out and move on quickly, even if there are only two of you in the room. Know this and use this.

Third, it has to generate a response. You have to make them care. You can talk to me until you are blue in the face about New Zealand’s corporate tax scheme. I will never provide feedback no matter how well you present it and how important your issue is. I don’t live in New Zealand, it just doesn’t really matter. 

So, what should you put out there to help you look inward. You need to look at how you make decisions. This is central to anyone’s character. When given choices, what do you choose. What are your guiding principles. What must be preserved above all else? You need to think about these things. You need to understand what your decisions really do. You need to know that people will be looking at what you prioritize and why it matters. This is who you are. It does’t matter what slogan you put on the wall, it matters what you do when you are faced with a decision. It matters what you put first in order to get what you want. 

If you want to do the impactful new year activity, look at how you make decisions. It will make the biggest difference.

Social Media is not a Utility

Most people who can access this blog use some sort of social media. That's not a good or bad thing. Social Media is a tool we can use to connect. it can be used to portray emotion or inform the people that matter to us.

Social media is not a utility.

Take some time to think about that, social media is not a utility so stop treating it as one. Social media is a service provided by companies. To provide the service, they sell advertising to be targeted at you. We all know this. They compete for your attention to generate more revenue.

So this year in Canada, our federal government decided that large internet companies need to start paying for news content because newsrooms are dying in Canada. As a response, Meta decided that they would not share Canadian news in Canada anymore. There was some outrage. This summer, there were a lot of wildfires and federal politicians were lamenting that it was a bad time for Meta to stop sharing Canadian news because it was hard to get critical information out to the masses. 

Social media is not new but it is the newest way to communicate. There were ways to get info to the people before it was posted on Facebook. Furthermore, you could still post the information on Facebook yourself if you are not a news organization. However, these people couldn't think of a way to get information out besides writing a press release and having news organizations pick up the story and share it on Facebook.

If you cannot find another way to get the job done, you won't be getting too many jobs done.

Many may like social media but it is not a utility. What goes or does not go on to their platforms is not the prevue of the federal government. In fact, there is not requirement for Meta to keep operating. Tomorrow they could shut it all down and walk away. They would not be compelled, as utilities are compelled to keep operating. They are not handed a monopoly by any government. Anyone is free to start another social network. I fully admit it will be hard to ever grow to the size of Meta or Google and they have become the go to organizations, but you can try.

If either of these big companies were to fall on hard times, I do not believe any government would come to their aid and make sure they do not fail. So, if you won't hold them up in their darkest hour, you can't tell them what to do or try to use them like a utility when things are going well.

I like using social media for some things. I like how it can connect people and make people happy. I am not naive. I know it can be used for nefarious outcomes as well and I know that just because I don't use it that way it doesn't mean others won't. I think it has a place in our lives if we want it to but it is not a utility.

Newborn Fathers

 Less than two weeks ago my daughter was born. It was an exciting time and this makes me a father of two. It is a very busy time for a family as newborns have very small stomachs and thus must eat often. None of this is a surprise to most people. We al hear about the lost sleep to babies. What we don't hear about as much is how hard it is to be useful as a father of a newborn.

Now please understand, there is a lot to do. I am making a lot of the meals. I'm doing a lot of parental tasks for our toddler. I am busy. However, there is a lot I wish I could help with more.

I can't breast feed. As such my wife has to do all the breast feeding, which is going exceptionally well. It's going so well we don't currently need formula. Our daughter figured it out on the day she was born and there has been no looking back. But the great performance means that the milk production is happening if the baby eats it or not. So now a large percentage of my wife's day is dispensing milk. I cannot do this for her so I can't free up time for her to do other things.

I can't heal from delivery. Mothers get beat up pretty good when they deliver babies. It is just the way it is. As humans we heal best when we are asleep, but it is quite hard to get sleep when you have to feed a baby regularly and breastfeeding has gone so well there is an abundance of milk.

I can't build the mother baby connection. Mom's have a special connection with their children. Dad's do too, but it isn't the same. Mom's seem to have to spend a lot of time with there wee ones. This is awesome but also time consuming. I can't do any of it for my wife.

All these things are rather time consuming. It doesn't leave a new mom with much time for other things including personal pursuits. As a caring husband and father I want to do more but so much I can't. I want to make things easier for my wife, but she needs to do what she needs to do. So I find my role is still important but a lot of secondary tasks. I get her snacks while she breastfeeds. I make meals. I rub her feet and shoulders so she can relax a bit. I keep her company, especially at night when it can be a bit lonely. These are all important tasks but they are not glamorous. They don't always seem like the most important things to do, but that's part of the role of a new father. We set the moms up for success. We do the behind the scenes activities that are not discussed at playgroup. We keep the machine ready for action.

While this is critical, it doesn't feel like what I thought being a newborn father would be. The second time around I was better prepared for it. I was ready to fill support roles but, the feeling is still there, and that's ok. We work as a team to take care of the family and I know that the traditional dad stuff is coming. In a few short months, I'll be doing more dad tasks and my role will change to more of what I think a lot of guys expect when then become dads.

So, if you are a new dad and a bit lost or confused, support the new mom and know that your time to shine is coming, and it will be very, very soon.

Too Much Fighting

If you happen to follow professional wrestling you are aware that All Elite Wrestling has fired CM Punk. CM Punk is a character portrayed by a guy named Phil Brooks.While pro wrestling portrays fighting, you are expected to work together as some type of team. You can have disagreements but at the end of the day fighting is not looked at in a favourable light.

CM Punk is a very talented wrestler. Many people held them as their favourite wrestler. He does portray a compelling character. I’ve watched some of his matches and they can be really good. However, if you can’t get along and you keep fighting with the people you work with, something is going to give and he lost his job.

This post isn’t really about wrestling. I’m a very casual fan. I may watch an hour a month or less. This post is really about those people who feel they need to start fights all the time.

If you are fighting with the people you work with all the time things will not last. If you cannot find common ground, things will not last. Even if you are usually right, if you can’t get people to buy into your message, things will not last.

Fighting everyone is exhausting. Not listening and pushing back all the time wears you out. You need to work with others and you need to hear what they are saying. You may not agree but you need to understand where it is coming from.

The crazy thing is, going back to the wrestling story, everyone would have made more money if they could have found a way to get along. The idea of fighting can be romantic. I fought for this. It was a big fight to get that. It sounds great but you don’t fight with your team. You can disagree but you don’t fight.

When you look at the world around yourself, as best you can, stay away from people who just have to fight. If you have to be around them, try to help, until they are picking fights with you.

Picking fights at work will never work out in the long run so don’t be like CM Punk and keep picking fights.

Canadian Facebook Got Better

Recently the Canadian Government passed a law requiring large tech firms like Meta and Google to negotiate deals with news providers for their content. The argument was since these large corporations that are pretty darn good at what they do, demand the lion's share of advertising dollars, they should be paying to use content that has been traditionally funded by these advertising dollars. To a simpleton, this looks like a good idea. The politicians who brought forward the law did not expect what happened next.

Meta and Google stopped allowing Canadian news on their platforms.

These companies are not public utilities. They did not require a charter to operate in Canada and they are free to manage their organization as they see fit.

News was not a big part of their platform traffic. However, it could be argued it was the most annoying part of their platform. Articles would get shared. Since most news agencies don't really give us the news anymore but in fact are trying to tell us how to think, inane arguments would break out that would solve nothing. The public discourse would not be for the greater good and it all would help feed the unreasonable tribalism that is growing in Canada.

If you think about what Facebook was when it changed the internet forever. It was a place for people to share their life and connect with people they knew. It exploded because you could keep people in your life that were not in your close proximity. That isn't what Facebook is today. Most people don't share original content. In fact most don't share any content but if they do, it is something that resonates with them but was created by someone else. I think it was inevitable that we would get to this place. Most people are not very good at expressing themselves.

Since the news has disappeared from Facebook in Canada I have found it to be a better online platform. I'm seeing more from people I know. I'm not sure if they are sharing more or if what they are sharing is cutting through the noise but it really doesn't matter. No longer are people posting news articles trying to bait others into arguments. With news out of the way, I'm more likely to be shown content that I want to consume. I know the algorithm looks at everything I do and tries to find me things I'll read but for a long time a lot of it wasn't worth reading. Too much news, not enough fun. Now there is more fun.

Facebook can still be a huge time suck. There are better things to do with my time than scroll on social media. However, I like to be connected and have a bit of a finger on the pulse. Because there is no editorial standard you encounter a lot of garbage but you also encounter some very raw truths. You end up seeing some of the best of people and of course you see the bad in people as well.

The Canadian Government inadvertently made Facebook better and over time I think that more and more Canadian will not want to go back to what it was.

A Bad Workout is a Good Thing

If you exercise regularly you love the great workout. You know the one. Everything feels light, you can't seem to get gassed. You feel like a machine. These workouts are great and keep you coming back. However, not every workout is like this.

Some workouts are bad. You feel tired. Everything is way too heavy. Your cardio hurts. It is just not very good. As you slog through the event you wonder why did I show up. Why did I leave the comfort of my warm bed. These feelings are real and they are normal.

All that being said, a bad workout is a good thing. 

Bad workouts are a sign of consistency. Human bodies cannot operate at peak level every day. We have events and forces outside of our fitness routines that influence our ability to exercise. When you have a bad workout it means you are human. It also means you chose to be consistent and this choice is important for success.

Being consistent takes discipline as motivation ebbs and flows. The food you eat, other actions in your life, your family and work demands all impact your motivation to exercise. If you are having bad workouts it means you are a disciplined person. You show up even if you are not feeling it today. You show up when everyone else is doing something else. By showing up, you are going to see the results you are looking for. In the long run, the bad workouts are going to help you get to where you want to be.

I do want to be clear. If you are injured you need rest and recovery before you continue. Just like a piece of paper, your body will not get less torn if you keep pulling on it. Likewise, if you are ill, not just a bit off but truly ill, you need to take some time to get better or you could get a lot worse.

Bad workouts show you what you need to work on. If things are not going well, you will see where your biggest weaknesses are. When you know what needs to be fixed, you can focus your attention in the right direction. It's easy to do the things we are good at and when we are exercising we feel good about ourselves when we do things well. Having a bad workout will show you your weakest spots and can you can work on them.

Finally, a bad workout contributes to the end goal just like a good work. If you are faced to work harder to get the reps in or finish your cardio plan, you will get fitter. The next workout or maybe the one after than will feel amazing. You will be able to do more than ever before. All this is not because of one bad workout, it is because of the discipline to stay consistent over time and stick it out. It's because you put yourself in a position to have bad workouts. By putting yourself into challenging positions, you will do amazing things.

Next time you think your workout is going to be bad, get at it. Get it done and reap the rewards.