The Great Outdoors

The great outdoors is kicking the stuffing out of me. Apparently, I am not used to spending my entire workday outside. I like to be outdoors however it is a bit of shock to the system.

I'm not sure why this year it seems worse. Maybe I've spent more time inside leading up to my summer of sunshine. This is possible as the weather over the last month has not been as nice as some years. Maybe it's age creeping up on me. I was reminded this morning that it was fifteen years ago yesterday that I graduated from high school. A sure indicator that time is passing.

What I know is, I am so run down, people are commenting. I look tired. I do not have much spring in my step and I have been a bit grumpy. As much as I try to be cheerful, it seems to be hard.

I'm sure over the next week or so I will get used to being outside a lot and my body will get with the program. I have to admit that I am laughing quite a bit so I'm sure I'm not depressed. I'm seeing the upside of nearly everything and having a lot of fun. Despite this my body is taking its time to being ok with existing outside all day long.

So despite Mother Nature beating the stuffing out of me, I am determined to enjoy my time outside and bring as much joy as I can to the world around me. Even if it means I need several naps.

North American TV Dependance

I'm in the place I live for the summer. I have been here for just over a week. This whole tine my TV has not worked. At first I was not too concerned. I am very busy in the summer and don't watch a lot of TV in the summer. As time goes on I am finding that I am missing a lot not having a signal.

I don't need to know what is happening in any of the programs I do enjoy, however much of the news type content is missing. You would think that the Internet would just fill in all what is missing. To a point it does but it is still very much a pull system. You go and find the content you want. There are a lot of benefits to this. There is also one large drawback. It's hard to know what to go and find out about when you don't know what is going on. To add to this there are no radio stations with a reliable signal that I enjoy. As a result I am not listening to morning radio.

I feel as though my knowledge of the world beyond my direct physical contact is severely limited.

I may be a bit addicted to TV. I don't mind the old way of having content pushed on me. I am missing it a bit. There is something to be said for sitting down and watching a half-hour of news. I hope I can return to that very soon.

Yup I Really Wish I Had Not Come Across That

I've seen a lot of stuff. My first job out of university was as a product manager for a pork company. I was often in the plant dealing with issues on the kill floor. I sold livers, kidneys, salivary glands and the like. I have seen some very brutal bar fights. I have seen strung out junkies with needles stuck in their arms. I seem to be able to stomach this stuff.

Yesterday I happened upon a horror that really made me shudder.

I saw two homeless people having sex on a park bench at about 4:30 pm near my apartment. If you think it sounds bad you should have seen it.

I have spent the last 24 hours debating if I should write about this. Since these people did not show any discretion I feel it is fine to have this within the blogosphere.

I understand that homeless people are still people and as such they have desires. If they wish to share each other's company in an intimate way that is their prerogative. I also feel that these folks should have chosen a more discrete location. There are often families with young children in the area. I would not want to have my children (if I was a parent) or children of my friends being exposed to that. What I saw made the whole act look horrendous and wrong. It will be difficult to build a healthy attitude toward sex if what I witnessed was one of your first exposures.

There are many points of view on this subject. I know mine is not shared by everyone but at the end of the day, I did not want to be a witness to that. It made something wonderful look wrong and sad.

I also realized how fortunate I am as I have resources at my disposal such as soap and shelter to keep me clean and private. It is unfortunate that people can end up in their position. I'm sure more can be done for people as long as they are willing to be helped and help themselves. In Canada we have a system to provide the basics to everyone. The system is not perfect but it does help many. How do these people fall through to end up copulating on a park bench? Do they want to be helped?

The whole thing struck me in a couple of ways. It was ugly and dirty but it also left me wondering how someone can think this is ok. I do not share their lives, nor do I want to, but I know more about them than I should.

If It Keeps On Raining

If it keeps on raining, the levee's going to break. This line from the great Led song may be quite fitting in Manitoba these days. It has been raining a lot as of late. I have been flying a bit in the last few days and I can tell you there is a lot of water out and about. I realize there are no levees here like there is in New Orleans but the sentiment is the same. If it rains much more, especially in the Manitoba Interlake we may see the revival of Lake Agassiz.

I understand we need some rain but I think we have enough for the entire summer. This much rainy weather wears on people's morale. It is hard to be excited about life when it seems that water is always falling from the sky.

I also realize it may not rain for a month. This is Manitoba and I'm not sure if there is typical weather anymore. I'm good with it not raining much for the rest of the summer. The farmers don't need it. The crops are already ruined. If a deity controls the rain, and that deity happens to read my blog from time to time, it would be nice if we had a sunny summer from here on out.

I know there really isn't anything we can do about the weather but I hope it doesn't rain too much more.

Someone Needs To Lighten Up

Last night I received a text message from a very good friend. She indicated that she had just took a few minutes and read my latest blog post. She also indicated it was seriously depressing. So I read it and a few other recent entries.

She was right. My writing has not been too cheerful as of late.

I have been complaining a lot in his blog. There have been silver linings but they are very dull silver and do not radiate much hope. I seem to be in a bit of a mood.

I like to be happy. I can see my happiness spread to others. When I'm glum I can see that spreading as well. So, I guess I need to work on looking at the happy stuff around me. It's everywhere. I get to live in one of the best countries in the world. I work for one of the best youth development programs ever even thought of. I get to do something truly enjoy. I have the best family and friends so amazing I often wonder why they would choose to spend time with me. I live a comfortable and fairly complete life.

I need to see the world around me for how amazing it really is.

I think we all go through times where the less desirable seem to overshadow all the great things we have in our life. I think I rolled into one of those funks. I am done with the self loathing. I'm determined to enjoy every day while I make the people around me happy as well.

It's time for me to behave like the fortunate, talented, and fun person I can be.

Being a Hermit

For the second Sunday in a row I have had no meaningful face-to-face, human interaction all day. I have had some small contact, I held the door open to the laundry room and went to Subway and ordered a sub. I had two work related phone calls. I sent and received a couple of text messages. I checked Facebook. I watched TV. I am now writing a blog post for the world to read, if they choose. None of this could be described as meaningful face to face contact.

I'm not sure why I I seem to be hiding in my apartment on Sundays. I think part of it is tomorrow I will be making my annual trip to Gimli for the summer. Once there human contact is part of the gig. There may be too much at times. It can be hard to get a way and chill. Maybe I'm pre-chilling so I can take the constant people.

I'm fairly social. I like to talk with and listen to people. They don't always have to be very interesting but it does help. I like to be surprised by people. I like to hear interesting things and different opinions.

Having said all that I do like to be alone from time to time.

After a long day I like to relax with my own thoughts. I like the solitude. I like the idea that I don't have to watch what I say, mainly because there is no-one to say it to. I like that I don't have to compromise. I just don't want to be alone all the time.

In this electronic age we live it, it is easy to stay connected but I think it is more difficult to truly connect. It's harder to hold someone's attention and see the person they really are. It's easier to hide who you really are. You can filter the content and only show others what you want them to see. The complete person is not exposed to criticism or compliment.

The biggest change the internet has done is it is easier to capture and track what people say and do. It was always said and done, it lived in our memories and stories if we where there or had the chance to hear about it. Now it lives on a server and is triple backed up so the moment is never lost. A content filter controls who sees what. It's easy to be connected but difficult to connect.

I'm as guilty as anyone to embrace this new world, but I'm finding it is easy to not talk to people. I don't have to. I can get the info online. We can't go back, this is here to stay. I think the challenge going forward is to make sure we sit with people and communicate the oldest but most effective way, by talking.

Darwin Might Be In Winnipeg

I'm not perfect, I do make some mistakes. We all do. I have noticed lately there has been some very foolish pedestrians in Winnipeg as of late. From time to time people step out into traffic, usually they are not paying attention, lately there has been a lot. There have been people stepping out into traffic, against the light, and then looking at drivers like they own the road.

I realize pedestrians have the right of way, but if you go head to head with any vehicle you are going to lose 10 out of 10 times. It's simple physics. Maybe Darwin is lurking in the downtown area, and is trying to cull the herd. A sound argument could be make to adjust the mean intelligence of the Winnipeg population, but it would come with a lot of grief.

Maybe its the weather. Maybe the general populous needs a good reminder that a car can cause death. Maybe some people just have no regard for their own life. All that being said, many believe it is the responsibility of the strong to care for the weak. I can see this being a good thing and I tend to subscribe to it. However, it is difficult to help people who don't help themselves.

When it comes down to brass tacks, take care of yourself, look both ways when you cross the street, and watch out for your friends. Darwin may be lurking and you don't want to be the one who proves to be the dumbest. You don't get a very good prize.

Thundershowers

I like a good thunderstorm, I just don't like to be outside in a good thunderstorm. I was over at a friend's place and decided it was time to go. Since it is only a few blocks I was travelling by foot. A thunderstorm rolled over and I got wet. Not completely soaked as I have many times in the past but definitely wet. Thankfully, I had a rather water repellent jacket on, so other than my feet getting damp I was ok.

I know people who like to be outside in the rain. They revel in it. They think its the best thing since sliced bread. Not me. But that's ok. It indicates we have choice and can exercise that choice. I think its important that we have this ability to choose.

If you look at the worst places on this planet, one of the main things that makes them so bad is people are limited in their choices. If you limit choice, you significantly limit the ability to make a difference or to enjoy.

I realize that the whole issue is not that simple but if we can give more people more choice the world will be a better place. If nothing else I try to choose to not be out in a thunder storm.

Have You Ever Wondered

Have you ever looked around and wondered, 'How did I get here?' I'm not talking about a night where you had a few too many, I'm talking about those days when you realize life is not what you expected. It may be better or worse, but it's not how you expected it to be.

I find it's easy to get caught up in things. By things I mean excitement and drudgery. The days tick away, seemingly faster as you get older, as you go about your business. You always have something to do or somewhere to go. Often we are making decisions that may have significant impact on our future without much thought. Wisely or unwisely, we are expending time and resources on various ventures. Then one day, boom, we wonder how we got here. We probably have some great parts to out life and some parts we like to change. Fixing the undesirable parts is the challenge, since we probably set our path down that road without thought or realization.

On the flip side we cannot sit and contemplate every choice and it's long lasting effects on our eventual outcome. That is probably a good way to get a visit to several mental health professionals. There is a need for balance, hopefully most of the key moments are identified and the requisite time is taken. However, we are flawed and moments will be missed. That's ok. You may have to face some adversity but the lessons learned will help in the long run.

As I move through my 30's I am coming to realize that I am rather fortunate. Overall a lot of people would look at my life and think they would like what I have going on. They are not wrong. Of course it is difficult to not wonder where else my life could be if I made some different choices. I'm not regretful or angry, more curious than anything.

There are days I wonder how did I get where I am but a lot of them I'm glad I'm here.

Is This Where We Thought We Would Be

I was born in the 70's. I grew up in the 80's and 90's. I graduated from university in 1999. Over this time I have watched and participated in computers infiltrating our lives.

When I started school, there was 1 computer lab in the building that you went to once and a while. No one had a home computer. Everything was run by command line.

By junior high a few classrooms had one computer in it. There was still a computer lab. In grade 9 the typing lab also had computers. I think it was a bit too much for the typing teacher. She had been teaching typing since Christ was a Corporal. She retired.

In high school I heard about this thing called the Internet. I didn't have access to it in Russell, Manitoba.

I went to the big city to go to University. I made it one year before I had to buy a computer. It was so vital to get my work done efficiently. By the end of University, computers, the Internet, and email was prevalent. However we were still tethered by wires.

Another explosion came with this wireless idea. To broadcast the Internet over the air. First it was just a wireless router but when cell phone companies started to send the Internet to your phone, the world changed.

We can now get the info we crave anywhere we can make a phone call. It's not just on your phone anymore. You can pipe the signal into your laptop. Devices are specifically designed to capture this data.

I bought an iPad last week. I have a 3G model. This is a perfect example of how computers are getting smaller and doing more. I am finding this new tool to be very useful. I am writing this blog post on it. It is faster to type on than my iPhone,but not as fast as my MacBook Pro. Back in Junior High I did learn to touch type and I have kept the skill up. Since I am typing on a piece of glass it is rather difficult to touch type, but I can go fairly fast. It's hard to say but I think the tablet computer will finally be the puzzle piece that significantly reduces the amount of paper in the office. I can see in 5 to 10 years, we will be routinely using tablets in the work environment and significantly improving our productivity because of it. In addition the older generation of office workers who printout every email they want to keep will be starting their much deserved retirements and much more info will only ever exist in electronic form.

I'm sure everyone sees things change as their life rolls along but it is very interesting to me how computers have changed the world as much as air travel or the printing press.