The Sensitivity Olympics

We are in the middle of the Sensitivity Olympics. I heard this term a couple of weeks ago on Real Time with Bill Mahr and it has been sticking with me.

If you are not the most outraged, sensitive human on the earth, you must be a piece of scum. If you don't declare all white men as racist and sexist, you are letting them off the hook because they have the power and they set the system up for their success.

Here's the thing, within every classification of people there are good people and bad people. That is a fact. 

There are horrible white men who have done horrible things. However, being white and a man does not make you horrible by default. There are also many who are extremely generous with their time and other resources and like every group of people there are a lot in the middle.

I cannot comment on what it is like to be a minority. The closest I can come is being an anglophone working in a primarily francophone organization. Let's be honest, that's not too bad, I was effective and got my job done. However, I can appreciate that there are a lot of people in the world who have faced unreasonable barriers because of their gender or colour of their skin amongst other qualities that have no indication on how well you can do something. The evidence is overwhelming. 

For the last few months I have been spending a lot of time driving with the Uber platform. It has afforded me the opportunity to interact with a lot of different people. The platform continues to grow in popularity and the diversity of riders grows with it. Through observation, I have a few ideas that will help everyone.

First, learn to use the primary language of the land. Now, if it is your second, third, or fourth language, that becomes very obvious very quickly and nobody expects perfection. These are not the people I'm referring to. If you only use one language, learn to read and write it properly. All languages are systems used for communication. All systems work better when they are used properly. Proper sentence structure goes a long way to improving clarity and clarity goes a long way to getting what you want.

Second, be polite. Honestly, it doesn't take any more effort to be a pleasant person. If you have a question ask it in a respectful way. If a question is asked of you, answer it it promptly and respectfully.

Third, don't behave in a manner that perpetuates negative stereotypes. This doesn't help anyone. It will only draw negative attention to yourself and your group. Stereotypes can be quite harmful but when someone behaves in a manner that is consistent with a negative stereotype, it only acts to reaffirm the stereotype, which is divisive. We need inclusive behaviour, not acts that drive us apart.

There is one more thing we need to do. We need to toughen up a bit. Just because someone doesn't accept your argument, like what you have to say, or share your view on the world, it doesn't mean that they are a horrible person. When someone expresses a differing but fact based opinion you don't need to retreat to a safe space. Yes, words can make you feel uncomfortable, they can make you question what you believe, they can incite rage or hate. However, if you don't listen to words you don't like and try to understand how someone can come to that position you are setting yourself up to an impact from hot projectile lead or a fist to the nose, and those things hurt a lot more. Deep listening and understanding does not and has never incited violence. Your idea may change the world but it won't do much if you can't share it and have people understand it.

When I was in university, one of my professors told the class that if you don't question your beliefs at some point during a university education, you should ask for your money back because the institution didn't do it's job. University campuses used to be a bit scary. You headed off for higher education and you would meet people with what seemed like crazy ideas. If you took the time to listen to some of them you would find some are crazy but some might be onto something. Universities are there to change you, retreating to safe spaces doesn't change you, it only provides confirmation bias.

The rifts in the world are getting deeper and wider. We need to change this trend. We have to judge people on their individual behaviours. For the people who are marginalized, calling the majority racist is not going to advance your cause. For the majority, not being inclusive is only going to make things worse. Everyone needs to open their ears and be willing to hear the other side while behaving in a positive manner. There is too much at stake to not try and do things better.