Social Media is not a Utility

Most people who can access this blog use some sort of social media. That's not a good or bad thing. Social Media is a tool we can use to connect. it can be used to portray emotion or inform the people that matter to us.

Social media is not a utility.

Take some time to think about that, social media is not a utility so stop treating it as one. Social media is a service provided by companies. To provide the service, they sell advertising to be targeted at you. We all know this. They compete for your attention to generate more revenue.

So this year in Canada, our federal government decided that large internet companies need to start paying for news content because newsrooms are dying in Canada. As a response, Meta decided that they would not share Canadian news in Canada anymore. There was some outrage. This summer, there were a lot of wildfires and federal politicians were lamenting that it was a bad time for Meta to stop sharing Canadian news because it was hard to get critical information out to the masses. 

Social media is not new but it is the newest way to communicate. There were ways to get info to the people before it was posted on Facebook. Furthermore, you could still post the information on Facebook yourself if you are not a news organization. However, these people couldn't think of a way to get information out besides writing a press release and having news organizations pick up the story and share it on Facebook.

If you cannot find another way to get the job done, you won't be getting too many jobs done.

Many may like social media but it is not a utility. What goes or does not go on to their platforms is not the prevue of the federal government. In fact, there is not requirement for Meta to keep operating. Tomorrow they could shut it all down and walk away. They would not be compelled, as utilities are compelled to keep operating. They are not handed a monopoly by any government. Anyone is free to start another social network. I fully admit it will be hard to ever grow to the size of Meta or Google and they have become the go to organizations, but you can try.

If either of these big companies were to fall on hard times, I do not believe any government would come to their aid and make sure they do not fail. So, if you won't hold them up in their darkest hour, you can't tell them what to do or try to use them like a utility when things are going well.

I like using social media for some things. I like how it can connect people and make people happy. I am not naive. I know it can be used for nefarious outcomes as well and I know that just because I don't use it that way it doesn't mean others won't. I think it has a place in our lives if we want it to but it is not a utility.

Newborn Fathers

 Less than two weeks ago my daughter was born. It was an exciting time and this makes me a father of two. It is a very busy time for a family as newborns have very small stomachs and thus must eat often. None of this is a surprise to most people. We al hear about the lost sleep to babies. What we don't hear about as much is how hard it is to be useful as a father of a newborn.

Now please understand, there is a lot to do. I am making a lot of the meals. I'm doing a lot of parental tasks for our toddler. I am busy. However, there is a lot I wish I could help with more.

I can't breast feed. As such my wife has to do all the breast feeding, which is going exceptionally well. It's going so well we don't currently need formula. Our daughter figured it out on the day she was born and there has been no looking back. But the great performance means that the milk production is happening if the baby eats it or not. So now a large percentage of my wife's day is dispensing milk. I cannot do this for her so I can't free up time for her to do other things.

I can't heal from delivery. Mothers get beat up pretty good when they deliver babies. It is just the way it is. As humans we heal best when we are asleep, but it is quite hard to get sleep when you have to feed a baby regularly and breastfeeding has gone so well there is an abundance of milk.

I can't build the mother baby connection. Mom's have a special connection with their children. Dad's do too, but it isn't the same. Mom's seem to have to spend a lot of time with there wee ones. This is awesome but also time consuming. I can't do any of it for my wife.

All these things are rather time consuming. It doesn't leave a new mom with much time for other things including personal pursuits. As a caring husband and father I want to do more but so much I can't. I want to make things easier for my wife, but she needs to do what she needs to do. So I find my role is still important but a lot of secondary tasks. I get her snacks while she breastfeeds. I make meals. I rub her feet and shoulders so she can relax a bit. I keep her company, especially at night when it can be a bit lonely. These are all important tasks but they are not glamorous. They don't always seem like the most important things to do, but that's part of the role of a new father. We set the moms up for success. We do the behind the scenes activities that are not discussed at playgroup. We keep the machine ready for action.

While this is critical, it doesn't feel like what I thought being a newborn father would be. The second time around I was better prepared for it. I was ready to fill support roles but, the feeling is still there, and that's ok. We work as a team to take care of the family and I know that the traditional dad stuff is coming. In a few short months, I'll be doing more dad tasks and my role will change to more of what I think a lot of guys expect when then become dads.

So, if you are a new dad and a bit lost or confused, support the new mom and know that your time to shine is coming, and it will be very, very soon.

Too Much Fighting

If you happen to follow professional wrestling you are aware that All Elite Wrestling has fired CM Punk. CM Punk is a character portrayed by a guy named Phil Brooks.While pro wrestling portrays fighting, you are expected to work together as some type of team. You can have disagreements but at the end of the day fighting is not looked at in a favourable light.

CM Punk is a very talented wrestler. Many people held them as their favourite wrestler. He does portray a compelling character. I’ve watched some of his matches and they can be really good. However, if you can’t get along and you keep fighting with the people you work with, something is going to give and he lost his job.

This post isn’t really about wrestling. I’m a very casual fan. I may watch an hour a month or less. This post is really about those people who feel they need to start fights all the time.

If you are fighting with the people you work with all the time things will not last. If you cannot find common ground, things will not last. Even if you are usually right, if you can’t get people to buy into your message, things will not last.

Fighting everyone is exhausting. Not listening and pushing back all the time wears you out. You need to work with others and you need to hear what they are saying. You may not agree but you need to understand where it is coming from.

The crazy thing is, going back to the wrestling story, everyone would have made more money if they could have found a way to get along. The idea of fighting can be romantic. I fought for this. It was a big fight to get that. It sounds great but you don’t fight with your team. You can disagree but you don’t fight.

When you look at the world around yourself, as best you can, stay away from people who just have to fight. If you have to be around them, try to help, until they are picking fights with you.

Picking fights at work will never work out in the long run so don’t be like CM Punk and keep picking fights.

Canadian Facebook Got Better

Recently the Canadian Government passed a law requiring large tech firms like Meta and Google to negotiate deals with news providers for their content. The argument was since these large corporations that are pretty darn good at what they do, demand the lion's share of advertising dollars, they should be paying to use content that has been traditionally funded by these advertising dollars. To a simpleton, this looks like a good idea. The politicians who brought forward the law did not expect what happened next.

Meta and Google stopped allowing Canadian news on their platforms.

These companies are not public utilities. They did not require a charter to operate in Canada and they are free to manage their organization as they see fit.

News was not a big part of their platform traffic. However, it could be argued it was the most annoying part of their platform. Articles would get shared. Since most news agencies don't really give us the news anymore but in fact are trying to tell us how to think, inane arguments would break out that would solve nothing. The public discourse would not be for the greater good and it all would help feed the unreasonable tribalism that is growing in Canada.

If you think about what Facebook was when it changed the internet forever. It was a place for people to share their life and connect with people they knew. It exploded because you could keep people in your life that were not in your close proximity. That isn't what Facebook is today. Most people don't share original content. In fact most don't share any content but if they do, it is something that resonates with them but was created by someone else. I think it was inevitable that we would get to this place. Most people are not very good at expressing themselves.

Since the news has disappeared from Facebook in Canada I have found it to be a better online platform. I'm seeing more from people I know. I'm not sure if they are sharing more or if what they are sharing is cutting through the noise but it really doesn't matter. No longer are people posting news articles trying to bait others into arguments. With news out of the way, I'm more likely to be shown content that I want to consume. I know the algorithm looks at everything I do and tries to find me things I'll read but for a long time a lot of it wasn't worth reading. Too much news, not enough fun. Now there is more fun.

Facebook can still be a huge time suck. There are better things to do with my time than scroll on social media. However, I like to be connected and have a bit of a finger on the pulse. Because there is no editorial standard you encounter a lot of garbage but you also encounter some very raw truths. You end up seeing some of the best of people and of course you see the bad in people as well.

The Canadian Government inadvertently made Facebook better and over time I think that more and more Canadian will not want to go back to what it was.

A Bad Workout is a Good Thing

If you exercise regularly you love the great workout. You know the one. Everything feels light, you can't seem to get gassed. You feel like a machine. These workouts are great and keep you coming back. However, not every workout is like this.

Some workouts are bad. You feel tired. Everything is way too heavy. Your cardio hurts. It is just not very good. As you slog through the event you wonder why did I show up. Why did I leave the comfort of my warm bed. These feelings are real and they are normal.

All that being said, a bad workout is a good thing. 

Bad workouts are a sign of consistency. Human bodies cannot operate at peak level every day. We have events and forces outside of our fitness routines that influence our ability to exercise. When you have a bad workout it means you are human. It also means you chose to be consistent and this choice is important for success.

Being consistent takes discipline as motivation ebbs and flows. The food you eat, other actions in your life, your family and work demands all impact your motivation to exercise. If you are having bad workouts it means you are a disciplined person. You show up even if you are not feeling it today. You show up when everyone else is doing something else. By showing up, you are going to see the results you are looking for. In the long run, the bad workouts are going to help you get to where you want to be.

I do want to be clear. If you are injured you need rest and recovery before you continue. Just like a piece of paper, your body will not get less torn if you keep pulling on it. Likewise, if you are ill, not just a bit off but truly ill, you need to take some time to get better or you could get a lot worse.

Bad workouts show you what you need to work on. If things are not going well, you will see where your biggest weaknesses are. When you know what needs to be fixed, you can focus your attention in the right direction. It's easy to do the things we are good at and when we are exercising we feel good about ourselves when we do things well. Having a bad workout will show you your weakest spots and can you can work on them.

Finally, a bad workout contributes to the end goal just like a good work. If you are faced to work harder to get the reps in or finish your cardio plan, you will get fitter. The next workout or maybe the one after than will feel amazing. You will be able to do more than ever before. All this is not because of one bad workout, it is because of the discipline to stay consistent over time and stick it out. It's because you put yourself in a position to have bad workouts. By putting yourself into challenging positions, you will do amazing things.

Next time you think your workout is going to be bad, get at it. Get it done and reap the rewards.

Before You Are Thirsty

 There is an old expression that you need to dig the well before you are thirsty. This isn't talking about water, but I'm sure you already know that. This old adage is all about building relationships. It informs or reminds us that we need to build relationships before we need relationships.

It is getting easier and easier to be a distrustful person these days. With the unrestricted ability for nearly anyone to publish information for the entire world to consume, editorial standards are a phenomenon from a bygone era. Yes, there are still some organizations that follow the long accepted standards for disseminating information but in this day and age, you don't have to. 

Within the profession of journalism, there was always a desire to be first. Reporters wanted to get a scoop. They wanted to be the first to report something. Within that community it carries a certain cache be the first. However, for the mass public consuming your product I'm not sure it was as important. Now, fast forward to current day and you don't have to follow any standards to have your information published, so you can always be first, if you don't care about the truth.

But what does this have to do about building relationships?

We are hurtling towards a world of complete distrust. There will be a day that comes sooner than later where if you don't know someone, there is no way you will be able to get them to do anything for you. So, to overcome that, you need to get to know people before you need something from them. We can't operate in isolation. Humans have built great systems, but systems bring about the rise of specialists. As such, you can't do it all yourself and at some point you will need help.

Since we are not very good at predicting the future and most people can't accurately predict where they will be in even three years, you don't know who is going to be around you or in a position to help you. So, at worst you need to not be burning bridges and at best you need to be cultivating relationships with people who you need nothing from. Some day someone from your past will be holding the keys to what you need. You don't want tot fail before you start because they don't know you or, even worse, don't like you. 

So start digging. Spend time with people and get to know them. Have a beer with them. Laugh at their jokes. Move into their trusted circle. When they ask for help, do more than you have to and as much as you can. You don't know when you may have to ask for some help. 

Everyone has competing priorities, so be the person others like to help so yours moves up the list.

More Tipping

We need more tipping. Yes, read that again, we need more tipping. You are probably confused right now and think this is a bit of a hot take. Hear me out.

Tipping in efficient.

There has been a significant backlash against tipping since the COVID-19 pandemic. It is expected. Asking for tips looks like passing the company responsibilities to the customer. This may be the case but it results in more money in the pocket of the consumer and more money in the pocket of the worker.

Consider the alternative. If tipping were banned, then industries where tipping is customary will need to increase wages. On the surface this looks like a good outcome. People get paid more for their work and you get happy workers. However, you need to fund these wage increases with price increases. So far it looks good. Consumers pay more for the product, the additional cost is passed along to the worker. That would be great if you lived in a place without a functioning government that did not collect taxes. It isn’t just the income tax on the wages, and yes the tips should be declared. There are other taxes eating away at the transfer of resources from the consumer to the worker.

First you will have to deal with sales taxes. Most goods and services are taxed on their retail value. So, for argument’s sake you went out for dinner and the appropriate tip was $10. If tipping was banned, then the total bill value should go up $10 so what you would have paid in tip to the worker is collected and passed onto the worker in the form of greater wages. If you live where I do in Ontario, Canada you then have to pay 13% in Goods and Services Tax which would be an additional $1.30 out of your pocket to pass the same amount to the worker.

Secondly, you have to consider payroll taxes in your jurisdiction. I’m not talking about income tax, I’m talking about deductions from the paycheque or amounts employers must pay to employ people. This money will erode the amount of cash that reaches the employee.

Tipping is more efficient. Even if the worker declares all their tips, they will get more money and the consumer will pay less money than if the employer charged a higher amount for the good or service and passed the equivalent of today’s tip on to the employee. Governments need money and they will find any way to get it.

So, tip your servers and anyone else who deserves it and be grateful that they are getting more and you are giving less.

Structure Stifles Creativity

 Structure can often stifle creativity. The good thing is there is a way to protect against this unfortunate reality.

Structure can be important. We need to know what to do and what others are expected to do in order to achieve results. It creates a more predictable environment and promotes teamwork. All of this contributes to an improved workspace. However, at the same time, structure can also stifle new ideas. We end up with remarks like, “The system won’t allow for that” or “We don’t do that here.”

There may be good reason for doing things how you do them. Depending on the level of risk or complexity, these reasons may be written in the blood of those that came before you. We must heed these lessons but it doesn’t mean we can’t improve on them.

One way to encourage creativity in a systematic environment is to change how you view the system. Many people look at the published regulations as the pinnacle to work towards achieving. They see it as what we are shooting for. 

However, what if we flipped this on it’s head and said the system was the foundation that we built our performance on. What if you looked at it like the first step in a bigger journey. What if it was the lessons we have learned and need to heed and a launching point for something bigger.

It isn’t easy to go beyond what’s written on the page. For most people, they have been told what not to do for a lot of their life. They are always looking for a reason to say no. If the system doesn’t say no, why are you feeling contained? Why can’t you do it differently? Why can’t you take an unconventional approach to reach the same goal in the same timeframe, within the same resource constraints? Why can’t you use the existing structures to build higher than anyone else has ever seen and look at the view from much higher. Why can’t you take the lessons that other’s have learned and apply them in a new way. 

Use the system as the foundation, not as the goal.

Sometimes You Need to Get Excited

Yesterday, I did a thing. I have been a glider pilot for thirty years, however, I have not been flying gliders recently. It’s part of my job, albeit not a core activity. I flew a glider again. It was pretty awesome. My performance was not awesome. It was good, it was safe, but it wasn’t as good as I like to perform. With effort it will get better.

What is much more important, I was really excited. Flying gliders is a rather unique aviation experience. It is very freeing and fun. I rode that wave of happiness all evening.

We get busy in life and always have a lot to worry about. Often everyone is solving problems and getting things headed in the right direction. That being said, everyone should find things to do that get them excited. Everyone should find a reason to smile. Everyone should chase some endorphins.

You often hear about self-care and mental wellness. The fact that we are discussing this more openly and often is great. Knowing that we need to take care of ourselves is a huge step forward. There was a time when you pushed the bad things deep down and buried them. We do this less than we used to. However, we often don’t know what to do to take care of ourselves. I find one of the key ideas is to get excited. 

When we get excited about things, time moves better and we have something to look forward to. When you can look forward to something, it gives you more purpose. If you have purpose, you know where to go, and knowing where to go, you should have less stress and anxiety.

As I was flying along, I was working harder than I used to to fly the glider well but I was smiling a lot. It was a special moment. I feel like I was accomplishing something I wanted to do. I felt my body relax.

Life is hard, sometimes you need to get excited about something.

Make Them Feel Special

It is always easier getting something from someone you know. At times what you ask for may be embarrassing and a stranger may be easier to talk to, getting results is a different story.

To increase the likelihood of successfully getting someone to do something for you, first you need to build a relationship with them. Hopefully, you can do this before you need anything from them. This is not always possible. When you are new to an organization, you have not had time to build the required relationships. In those times, you need to rely on other persuasive tactics. Over time, opportunities will present themselves for you to get to know people, but more importantly, you need them to get to know you. The easiest way to start the process is to make them feel special.

Acknowledge people. Make them feel heard. Make them want to be around you. These are all important, but how do you get there. In the busy world we live in where information is coming at you from every direction, it is hard to keep up with it all. It is hard to know what to respond to first. To make is simpler, look at the medium that carries the message.

If somebody walks into your workspace, take the time. Whatever they are talking about may not be important in the grand scheme of things, and may not be important to you, but it is sure important to them. They took the time to find you and spend time with you. Listen to them. 

On the other end of the spectrum, if somebody sends you a letter, they want a response but it probably isn't due the moment you open the letter. It can sit on the side for some time.

If you are trying to build relationships, talk to them about things they find important outside of work. You may have nothing in common but if they can tell you about their hobbies or children, while you take a genuine interest, it will make it easier for you to get something in the future. Too often people say I don't have time for this and blow people off. It doesn't help in the future as they will be willing to blow you off.

Be welcoming. Try to break down barriers to access you. Keep doors open. Invite people to stop by your workspace and take time for them when you do. Don't live in the ivory tower. 

Share some of yourself. You don't have to tell them everything about you but be human. Let them know about what on the job is going well and where you want to make improvements. Share fun moments you have. You don't have to pull the curtain all the way back and air all your dirty laundry, but show you are a person.

Get to know people in your organization you currently don't have any work interaction with. Your role or their role may change and you may need them someday. Have that relationship available.

To put a nice bow on all of it, be a nice person. This does not mean you let people walk all over you, but when you communicate be polite. Don't try to hurt people and actively help people who need it. 

We can't all work in isolation, so to make it easier to get things done, make others feel special.

The Key to Success Always Resides in Simplicity

The world is big, complex, interwoven, and sometimes quite scary. If you are not careful you will get sucked in and life will get too complex. Your tasks will get too complex. Your systems will get too complex. 

Complexity makes execution more difficult. Additional steps cause additional opportunities for failure. 

So let’s take a look.

You find a ball on the floor. The ball needs to be returned to its proper spot. Now, you know the ball has a spot because a register was developed describing where all the toys are to be placed. Each item is described and a bin is allocated. The bins are numbered on a grid system. The top left bin is 11 and the first digit is the column with the second digit being the row. To put the ball away, you must find the register, locate the item description, read what bin is allocated to the ball. Then you count down and across to find the appropriate bin and place the ball in that bin.

This system works. Everything has a place and you can figure out where it goes.

Let’s look at another system.

You find a ball. Written on the ball is the words “Bin 5.” You go into the storage room and every bin is labelled in numerical order starting in the top left. You find bin 5 and place the ball in the bin.

Both systems will work and both have potential failure points but the second system is so much simpler. It has the minimal intermediary steps. The fewer steps results in fewer tasks and, as such, fewer opportunities to fail. In this case, these extra steps do not provide opportunities for greater success. They do not provide redundancy on critical or safety related tasks. They are simply redundant. 

Life gets complex. We do hard things. to increase your chances of success, try to be simple in your planning which will result in better execution.

Do Things You Suck At

Many people tend to do things that they are good at and avoid things they are not very good at. In some cases this is a good idea. If there are safety issues or it is very expensive, you may want to steer clear of things you are not very good at. 

However, you may want to do things you are not very good at.

I can’t draw very well. I’ve never been able to. Even if I have a good idea in my head, I usually can’t get my hands to do what is necessary to draw the image. I have no idea how to frame the perspective. I just really suck at drawing. That’s not to say I am not a visual person. I can take a very good picture, but don’t ask me to draw it.

A while back I was looking for something to do in the evenings from time to time. I have an iPad Pro with an Apple Pencil. I downloaded a pretty basic free drawing app and started doodling. It was very relaxing. I am so bad I don’t expect anything to be good. I found this very liberating.

At first I was just doodling. I would draw things like irregular patterns or shapes. Then I started drawing things. It was so nice to just do something with no expectation of success. I felt free. I could do whatever I wanted and most of what I drew was terrible. I think how bad the drawings were helped make the whole process even more enjoyable.

It is important to perform well in a lot of what you do. You need to do well in your job. If you are a parent, you need to be good at that. These things and others matter a lot. Executing on them is important. Then there is a whole category of things that you should be good at like cooking.

Doing something that you are so bad that you have no chance to be good is liberating. It will make you smile and relax, because you know you are doing it just for you. However, I started to get better. I actually saw improvement, which is also motivating.

I’m sure if I really put in the time and effort, I would get a lot better. There is so much room for improvement but, I don’t want to. The effort would steal something from me that I value, something I’m so bad at it relaxes me and makes me happy.

They Are People

A long time ago, in my first job out of university I was trying to convince a coworker to call back somebody from the head office on a somewhat time sensitive issue. I’d been in the job a very short time and was not being very successful in influencing this person to pick up the phone and make the call. Finally I was told something that I’ll never forget: 

He is just a person.

This wasn’t a slag on his position in the company, it was a lesson that each person in a company is a person, with responsibilities and accountabilities, but at the end of the day, they are people.

It was also a reminder to not be scared of the person. Now, for the record I wasn’t scared, I was simply trying to follow up on a request, trying to move at the speed of business, as they say.

In any organization there are people with more responsibilities and hopefully the power to fulfil those responsibilities. People can be intimidated by the power that resides within these positions as it is more power than a lot will ever have. These are positions like CEO, Deputy Minister, or Commander. They have a lot of responsibilities and often not a lot of time. However, more importantly, they are people. They have a job to do and they are trying to do their job well. They are hopefully trying to take care of their team while they achieve their objectives. This is admirable but at the end of the day, they are people who want to go home to spend time with people they care about. They want to feel like their contribution matters. They want to be heard. They want to make a difference. They want to have fun.

To reach their objectives, they may have more tools at their disposal. They may have more authority to spend money or reallocate people. They can say yes to things nobody else can but, they can also say no. This make a lot of these positions intimidating, but it is the people in the positions that make the difference.

So, next time you need something don’t be afraid to approach the big boss. They are a person just like you, with challenges and fears like you. They have hopes and dreams like you and even though they may have to play a bit of a character at work to tow the organization line, deep down inside, they are a lot like you.

Your Happy Place

The Toronto Zoo. There is not much in this world I enjoy more than family time at the Toronto Zoo. It takes us about an hour and forty minutes to drive there from our home. Going to the zoo is a a serious time commitment, and honestly, I think it is one of the best time commitments I can make.

We all need a place that makes us happy.

I’m not suggesting taking a toddler to the zoo is easy. It is fraught with possible bad outcomes. It could easily go quite poorly, but it doesn’t. Our son always has so much fun. The first time was a big experience and had a few challenging moments. Today we went for the first time since winter and not only did he remember it, he was the happiest we have seen him yet.

When you look around your life, what is your true happy place? What is always a great experience, even if logically it might go awry? Now ask yourself, do I do this enough?

I think we go to the zoo about the right amount. If we went too often, it would become routine and some of the magic would disappear. We could go a bit more but right now we know that every time we go, everyone will have a great time.

It’s easy to get bogged down in the day to day grind. I let this happen way too often. I know  I should be making more time for the happy things in life. I’m sure this is typical of a lot of people living a similar situation. We should be taking stock of our situation and adjusting when we can. It isn’t easy. Often what makes us the happiest takes some effort. Sometimes it’s the effort that makes us feel the best. The zoo doesn’t take a lot of effort, we have so much fun as a family and I think that may be a big part of why it is my happy place.

Go out and find yours, you deserve it!

Treat People Like People

I worked with an individual for many years who was an excellent leader. I made a point of spending a lot of time with him because, I learned a lot. His wisdom came down to a pretty basic but powerful idea to treat people like people. I often reflect on this concept. I think it holds a lot more water in our current climate than it has at any point in my lifetime.

More and more, I am finding that as we become more tribal, we are not treating people with the basic human dignity that makes many things go so much easier. Too often we are looking at people as numbers or resources. They are worker hours or votes. They are revenue sources or benefit allocations. They are their role not their soul.

While we are able to predict human behaviour and it is amazing how often people fall into line and do what we expect them to do, that does not mean that they are not individuals. Just because we can push someone’s buttons and elicit a highly predictable result, it does not mean that they don’t have hopes or fears.

So, how do we treat people like people?

We listen. People want to be heard. They want an opportunity to express their opinions. They want to know their point of view has been considered. Most people will understand if their idea isn’t used, especially if they are given an explanation. However, they want to be heard.

At least some of the time we give them what they want.. If it doesn’t cause undue hardship and supports the broader goals, you should have someone do what they want to do. Let them set up their work as they see fit. Let them set their priorities. Let them stumble and learn. They will feel like they matter.

We ask them for help. Too many people are going through life not being acknowledged as a resource. Asking for help shows that you trust someone. It builds a relationship. It makes the person feel valued.

Most importantly, we acknowledge their situation. We make it known that their struggles and triumphs are seen. We make them feel like a valued individual.

COVID messed with us and in this recovery, which will probably last a lot longer than the most serious part of the pandemic, is not going well. We are losing are humanity and we are not doing some of the basics as well as we used to, like treating people like people.

Meet People Where They Are

 There has been a definite emphasis on boundaries. In the last few years a lot of people are setting boundaries and not doing things that they shouldn't be doing. This is a good thing and it helps protect people from harmful situations. However, it can go overboard and I'm seeing a trend where people are not having decency, or are being tribal in the name of boundaries.

You always have a decision how you interact with other people. If you feel what they are asking is too much, you can decline to engage. This can be a great idea and will protect you in some situations. If what you are being asked to do can cause physical harm, is illegal, is morally ambiguous, is over-stimulating, or is socially unacceptable, please don't do it.

However, if you are setting boundaries to make it easy for yourself or because you are simply being lazy, while this is your choice, you are only going to make it harder on yourself in the long run.

You need to meet people where they are.

You need to change your approach to get through to people. You need to change your approach to draw people in to your way of thinking. You need to be the difference maker in the interaction to get what you want now, and in the long term.

All this is contingent on people understanding delayed gratification. Doing the hard stuff now and everyday will one day make life a lot easier. It will make you indispensable and you will be able to command how things go because, you have their trust, you have their attention, and you have their answers. You have all this because you met them where they were. You have this because you made the first step easy and now they are on a journey that they like because of you. You have this now because you made the effort.

Effort, maybe that is the difference these days. Maybe the secret sauce is just keep trying. You don't have to be perfect, you just have to keep moving forward and putting out the effort. It will put you in a place to shape the world around you because you are meeting people where they are.

Success comes to those who do the work. The work is really just putting I the effort on a consistent basis. Being consistent is hard at times and getting out of your comfort zone is even harder but, if you consistently meet people where they are, you will be their hero and you will move them forward. Over time, this will all come back to you so many times over. It isn't a quick fix, it isn't revolutionary, it is really just a slow easy way to make a difference and get what you want.

You Have to Play the Hand You are Dealt

 Poker is a pretty good metaphor for life. I fully admit I don't play a lot of poker but I know how and have played in the past. Poker takes a lot of patience, waiting for hands that will yield results. The game doesn't give me the dopamine dump I am looking for but, it has taught me some lessons.

The most important lesson is you have to play the hand you are dealt. We all know that the same people end up at the final table of the World Series of Poker every year. The longer you play in a tournament the less the hands you are dealt matter. A lot of people start the World Series of Poker but only one wins. As the hands pile up, and everyone's opportunities become more homogenous, those that know how to take advantage of ok and good hands will rise to the top. 

In life you need to do the same. Opportunities are everywhere and a few are great. Some are really good. Even more opportunities are good, and a lot are ok. If you keep waiting for the great opportunities to show up you will miss all the really good, good, and even the ok opportunities. The less than perfect opportunities are what move you forward. These are what you need to see and take advantage of, to get to a place where you can pounce on the really good and great opportunities. 

Another way to look at it is, you can't give up on an opportunity every time there is a hardship. You need to find a way. Yes, there are times that it is smart to stop, but rarely is it a good idea to quit when the solution isn't all that hard. You may not always have the resources you need for things to run smoothly. However, if you try anyway things may still run, activities and tasks will get completed, and you will be closer to the goal.

The most successful people try and fail a lot. They believe in themselves and their team a little too much, and because of that, they are successful a bit more often. That little bit more keeps moving them closer to the rare situations that most people can't imagine being in.

I'm not perfect. I let opportunities slip. I don't always see the potential in situations. I make bad decisions. However, I'm always looking to see how I can get closer to where I want things to be. I'm always trying to move forward. I'm always trying to get things done.

Poker is a game that reflects on life. To be at the final table, you need to see enough opportunities to make something happen with the cards you are dealt. The perfect hand may not come your way but a lot of good, and some very good hands will.

The Lesson We Need to Learn From COVID

As we walk away from a global pandemic it is time to take a look back to see what we can do better next time. From my perspective there is one over-arching lesson we need to learn.

If you want to be successful, no matter what, no matter how hard it is, do not stop what you are doing. You may have to change how you deliver your wares but don't stop.

As we look at how things are going in 2023, there are some obvious truths. Now, since I live in Canada, this will have a significant Canadian slant.

Organizations that stopped or essentially stopped are having a lot of trouble getting going again. Let's look at airlines. They were almost completely shut down. Now they are having trouble getting people and their luggage to their destinations on time. Flights are late so often that passengers are expecting and planning for it. The likelihood of your luggage arriving with you is not great. This is all on domestic routes. Operating an airline is a very complex and demanding task. However, like anything, if you do it everyday you will get better at it. If you stop, you will start to lose skills.

Government agencies are failing to deliver services that used to be routine. Try and get a Canadian passport in a timely manner or any pilot documentation out of Transport Canada. You will be frustrated, you will be waiting, you probably won't have much luck getting answers if you reach out. It's an unmitigated disaster. At the start of the pandemic, the staff was sent home to flatten the curve. What they flattened is their ability to deliver their mandates.

Now, let's look at the other side of all of this. In Canada grocery retailers never stopped operating. You could always go to the grocery store and buy food. You may have had to wait in line and toilet paper was an issue in the beginning but retailers trundled on. Now, some Members of Parliament feel that they are making too much money. The large operators are being asked to have their Chief Executive Officers testify before parliamentary committees. Imagine, you kept working and got better at what you do, not to mention serviced more people than you ever have before, and as a result, you need to justify the money you made. If you keep working, you keep learning. That makes you better. If your goal is to make money, you should end up making more money, which will look even more impressive next to businesses that stopped and are now on a very long road to recovery.

People are saying the pandemic showed us a lot of things. They say it showed us that knowledge workers can work from home. I think the jury is still out on this one. Some say that we were not prepared, and will not be next time. This may be true but only time will tell. However, the lesson that we do really need to take away is if you want to be successful, don't stop. You won't be perfect everyday but, doing what needs to be done will continually bring you closer to your goals, and teach you the hard lessons you need to go forward.

Like a Phoenix, Rising From the Ashes

 The title may be a bit of an overkill. I am going to put some effort into reviving this project. It's been years since I wrote in this space. I wrote one post at the height of COVID but anytime I though about writing for an external audience, I didn't have very good things to say and I did not want fill the world with more negative thoughts. Let's be honest, we were all having a few too many.

I now feel like I have things to say to make the world a better place. I'm not too concerned if people read what I have to say. Currently in my mind, it is about the information being available. Maybe over time I will feel a need to promote certain posts but, just having my thoughts out there in the world for anyone to read is a good feeling.

My life has changed a lot in the last few years. We re expanding our family. In fact, when I wrote this blog regularly in the past, I wasn't even married. My family is amazing. They give me strength. They give me purpose. They are what matters the most. Parenting has made me into a better version of the person I want to be. As I write this, my son is sitting on my lap and I wouldn't have it any other way.

The world is getting more fragmented and adversarial. It's a bad way to be going. Yes, we all have and idea of how things should be. At least you should have some opinion. That doesn't mean others don't also have good ideas.

I plan to explore how we can make things better, how we can be better, how we can laugh more, and how we can learn from what we see.

The lessons are everywhere. Often we are not very good at seeing what we need to see. Often we are so caught up in the day to day routine we don't reflect and learn. That doesn't mean we can't make an effort to do better.

There are a lot of good ideas out there, I want to capture and focus some. I want to show the world, even if today they are not interested in listening, that these ideas are worth exploring and reflecting on.

So, I'm not sure how frequent the posts will come but there will be posts. I'm not sure how long the posts will be. I am sure that they will be authentically from me and I hope that everyone reading will gain something from me.

I really think putting good ideas out into the world only helps all of us.