The Real Leaders

I've been doing a lot of thinking about real leadership. A lot of people disguise behaviour as leadership. Playing hard and going the extra mile is leadership. Standing back and letting the boss be the boss. When it matters you stand up and get it done.

Hogwash.

Leadership is about setting people up for success. It is about empowering people to perform better than they ever believed was possible. The problem with a lot of people is they don't realize to do this long before things get tough.

Great leaders set people up to be successful before they know what the problem is going to be. They empower people so they feel strong and talented everyday, so when the moments that matter happen, all you have to do is tell them this is just like every other day and we can handle it. Being a great leader is about setting things up so extraordinary challenges seem almost routine.

So, how do you do this.

First, you get to know people. You get to know what makes them tick and what's important to them as a person. But everyone knows this.

Then you have to make them feel special. You have to show them why they are great. Not everyone is great for the same reason but everyone has something to offer and you build off that.

Once you make them feel special, you need to show them the way to success. This is not a step by step instruction on how to do the job but an understanding of where you are and where you need to get to. Keep in mind, you are doing this before you know what the big challenge is going to be. You have to make them understand where their strength lies and how to leverage their talents. You also have to make them understand their weaknesses and how to minimize or overcome their challenges.

Now, if you have done this properly, when the time for leadership comes, you have done the hard part. Now, all you do is remind them how good they are and they have been doing this all along and presto, the team is successful.

For all this to work you must admit when you are not very good at something. It's not a sign of weakness, its shows you are honest with yourself and the people around you. It is not easy being the one people are expected to look to for leadership, and admit we are not the best, good, or downright bad. However, you have to. If you want to guide people away from weaknesses to what they do best, you have to know what you are bad at.

If you want to lead, speak up before it matters. Know the people around you. Admit when you aren't very good. Then, you will be a great leader, by anybody's standard.

How Do I Look?

Everybody likes to look good. We do a lot to look good but everyone also seems to have some issues with how they look. Lately, I have seen a lot flying around the internet about body acceptance and body shaming. It is a hot button issue in some circles. Young girls are feeling pressure to reach an unobtainable standard of beauty. That being said, I'm not sure where they are feeling the pressure to come from. 

Is it coming from other girls? Is it coming from young boys? Is it coming from within?

One thing that young women should understand is all women have issues with how they look. Also, women should understand that all people, including men, have issues with how they look. I would venture a guess that most people think they are less attractive than they actually are.

A couple of weeks ago, I was chatting with an sales associate at one of my customer locations. She is young, exercises on a regular basis, and keeps herself very fit. We were discussing exercise and how to get better results. She indicated that she was close to the shape she wants to be in but, it wasn't where she would like to be. I told her I know a lot of women that would think she's nuts for having any body image issues. She saw my point but also said there is a lot of guys that would think I'm nuts if I have body image issues. 

This is what got my attention.

For a long time I have seen myself as rather average. Before I quit drinking Coca-Cola I saw myself as average. I knew I was too heavy for my frame but I I figured it was just a few extra pounds like so many other people. after losing nearly 40 pounds I still see myself as rather average and there is a lot of work to be done. I don't have the body of an underwear model but since I'm not trying to be one, I really don't need it.

As I've been driving all over Ontario, I've been thinking a lot about what really makes someone attractive. Much of my job requires me to deal with the general public and I've been looking at people and why they are attractive.

I've found it isn't one specific shape that makes someone attractive. It's not if you are are tall, or short. It doesn't matter if you are skinny. The number on the scale doesn't matter. What matters (at least to me) is if you look healthy and active. 

To me, healthy and active includes healthy looking skin, bright eyes, and a spring in your step. You should look like you can do something completely out of your routine and not get worn out by it. You should have a clear mind so your conversation is sharp. My mind stays clear when I eat right and exercise. You need the right body for you.

I truly believe that everyone should include regular exercise as part of a healthy lifestyle. With regular exercise some people will end up skinny as a rake while others will end up looking more like The Rock. Meanwhile the vast majority of us will end up somewhere in between. We won't be the perfect specimen but that doesn't mean we won't look good in other people's eyes. What's even better is you will feel better if you exercise and eat right. If you feel good, you will look better. You will be more engaging and someone great to be around.

If you live a healthy life, your body will look good on its terms and who doesn't want to look good on their own terms.