Make Them Feel Special

It is always easier getting something from someone you know. At times what you ask for may be embarrassing and a stranger may be easier to talk to, getting results is a different story.

To increase the likelihood of successfully getting someone to do something for you, first you need to build a relationship with them. Hopefully, you can do this before you need anything from them. This is not always possible. When you are new to an organization, you have not had time to build the required relationships. In those times, you need to rely on other persuasive tactics. Over time, opportunities will present themselves for you to get to know people, but more importantly, you need them to get to know you. The easiest way to start the process is to make them feel special.

Acknowledge people. Make them feel heard. Make them want to be around you. These are all important, but how do you get there. In the busy world we live in where information is coming at you from every direction, it is hard to keep up with it all. It is hard to know what to respond to first. To make is simpler, look at the medium that carries the message.

If somebody walks into your workspace, take the time. Whatever they are talking about may not be important in the grand scheme of things, and may not be important to you, but it is sure important to them. They took the time to find you and spend time with you. Listen to them. 

On the other end of the spectrum, if somebody sends you a letter, they want a response but it probably isn't due the moment you open the letter. It can sit on the side for some time.

If you are trying to build relationships, talk to them about things they find important outside of work. You may have nothing in common but if they can tell you about their hobbies or children, while you take a genuine interest, it will make it easier for you to get something in the future. Too often people say I don't have time for this and blow people off. It doesn't help in the future as they will be willing to blow you off.

Be welcoming. Try to break down barriers to access you. Keep doors open. Invite people to stop by your workspace and take time for them when you do. Don't live in the ivory tower. 

Share some of yourself. You don't have to tell them everything about you but be human. Let them know about what on the job is going well and where you want to make improvements. Share fun moments you have. You don't have to pull the curtain all the way back and air all your dirty laundry, but show you are a person.

Get to know people in your organization you currently don't have any work interaction with. Your role or their role may change and you may need them someday. Have that relationship available.

To put a nice bow on all of it, be a nice person. This does not mean you let people walk all over you, but when you communicate be polite. Don't try to hurt people and actively help people who need it. 

We can't all work in isolation, so to make it easier to get things done, make others feel special.

The Key to Success Always Resides in Simplicity

The world is big, complex, interwoven, and sometimes quite scary. If you are not careful you will get sucked in and life will get too complex. Your tasks will get too complex. Your systems will get too complex. 

Complexity makes execution more difficult. Additional steps cause additional opportunities for failure. 

So let’s take a look.

You find a ball on the floor. The ball needs to be returned to its proper spot. Now, you know the ball has a spot because a register was developed describing where all the toys are to be placed. Each item is described and a bin is allocated. The bins are numbered on a grid system. The top left bin is 11 and the first digit is the column with the second digit being the row. To put the ball away, you must find the register, locate the item description, read what bin is allocated to the ball. Then you count down and across to find the appropriate bin and place the ball in that bin.

This system works. Everything has a place and you can figure out where it goes.

Let’s look at another system.

You find a ball. Written on the ball is the words “Bin 5.” You go into the storage room and every bin is labelled in numerical order starting in the top left. You find bin 5 and place the ball in the bin.

Both systems will work and both have potential failure points but the second system is so much simpler. It has the minimal intermediary steps. The fewer steps results in fewer tasks and, as such, fewer opportunities to fail. In this case, these extra steps do not provide opportunities for greater success. They do not provide redundancy on critical or safety related tasks. They are simply redundant. 

Life gets complex. We do hard things. to increase your chances of success, try to be simple in your planning which will result in better execution.

Do Things You Suck At

Many people tend to do things that they are good at and avoid things they are not very good at. In some cases this is a good idea. If there are safety issues or it is very expensive, you may want to steer clear of things you are not very good at. 

However, you may want to do things you are not very good at.

I can’t draw very well. I’ve never been able to. Even if I have a good idea in my head, I usually can’t get my hands to do what is necessary to draw the image. I have no idea how to frame the perspective. I just really suck at drawing. That’s not to say I am not a visual person. I can take a very good picture, but don’t ask me to draw it.

A while back I was looking for something to do in the evenings from time to time. I have an iPad Pro with an Apple Pencil. I downloaded a pretty basic free drawing app and started doodling. It was very relaxing. I am so bad I don’t expect anything to be good. I found this very liberating.

At first I was just doodling. I would draw things like irregular patterns or shapes. Then I started drawing things. It was so nice to just do something with no expectation of success. I felt free. I could do whatever I wanted and most of what I drew was terrible. I think how bad the drawings were helped make the whole process even more enjoyable.

It is important to perform well in a lot of what you do. You need to do well in your job. If you are a parent, you need to be good at that. These things and others matter a lot. Executing on them is important. Then there is a whole category of things that you should be good at like cooking.

Doing something that you are so bad that you have no chance to be good is liberating. It will make you smile and relax, because you know you are doing it just for you. However, I started to get better. I actually saw improvement, which is also motivating.

I’m sure if I really put in the time and effort, I would get a lot better. There is so much room for improvement but, I don’t want to. The effort would steal something from me that I value, something I’m so bad at it relaxes me and makes me happy.

They Are People

A long time ago, in my first job out of university I was trying to convince a coworker to call back somebody from the head office on a somewhat time sensitive issue. I’d been in the job a very short time and was not being very successful in influencing this person to pick up the phone and make the call. Finally I was told something that I’ll never forget: 

He is just a person.

This wasn’t a slag on his position in the company, it was a lesson that each person in a company is a person, with responsibilities and accountabilities, but at the end of the day, they are people.

It was also a reminder to not be scared of the person. Now, for the record I wasn’t scared, I was simply trying to follow up on a request, trying to move at the speed of business, as they say.

In any organization there are people with more responsibilities and hopefully the power to fulfil those responsibilities. People can be intimidated by the power that resides within these positions as it is more power than a lot will ever have. These are positions like CEO, Deputy Minister, or Commander. They have a lot of responsibilities and often not a lot of time. However, more importantly, they are people. They have a job to do and they are trying to do their job well. They are hopefully trying to take care of their team while they achieve their objectives. This is admirable but at the end of the day, they are people who want to go home to spend time with people they care about. They want to feel like their contribution matters. They want to be heard. They want to make a difference. They want to have fun.

To reach their objectives, they may have more tools at their disposal. They may have more authority to spend money or reallocate people. They can say yes to things nobody else can but, they can also say no. This make a lot of these positions intimidating, but it is the people in the positions that make the difference.

So, next time you need something don’t be afraid to approach the big boss. They are a person just like you, with challenges and fears like you. They have hopes and dreams like you and even though they may have to play a bit of a character at work to tow the organization line, deep down inside, they are a lot like you.

Your Happy Place

The Toronto Zoo. There is not much in this world I enjoy more than family time at the Toronto Zoo. It takes us about an hour and forty minutes to drive there from our home. Going to the zoo is a a serious time commitment, and honestly, I think it is one of the best time commitments I can make.

We all need a place that makes us happy.

I’m not suggesting taking a toddler to the zoo is easy. It is fraught with possible bad outcomes. It could easily go quite poorly, but it doesn’t. Our son always has so much fun. The first time was a big experience and had a few challenging moments. Today we went for the first time since winter and not only did he remember it, he was the happiest we have seen him yet.

When you look around your life, what is your true happy place? What is always a great experience, even if logically it might go awry? Now ask yourself, do I do this enough?

I think we go to the zoo about the right amount. If we went too often, it would become routine and some of the magic would disappear. We could go a bit more but right now we know that every time we go, everyone will have a great time.

It’s easy to get bogged down in the day to day grind. I let this happen way too often. I know  I should be making more time for the happy things in life. I’m sure this is typical of a lot of people living a similar situation. We should be taking stock of our situation and adjusting when we can. It isn’t easy. Often what makes us the happiest takes some effort. Sometimes it’s the effort that makes us feel the best. The zoo doesn’t take a lot of effort, we have so much fun as a family and I think that may be a big part of why it is my happy place.

Go out and find yours, you deserve it!