Don’t think too much about what the start of a new year actually is. Think a lot more about how it can help you organize yourself. The passing of a planet past an arbitrary point on it’s orbit is unremarkable. It is something not worth noting. Yet we do. Humans seem to like beginnings and ends to things.
You will see a lot of new year advice. There are the oldies to make a resolution. Be a better person. There is the more modern remove anyone or anything that doesn’t serve your purpose. These are ok. If you don’t want to think too hard they work for you. If you surround yourself with a bunch of people who think just like you and don’t challenge you, nobody will get in the way, even if they should be. For a long time yes-men were looked down upon. Oh, how times have changed.
All this to say, maybe there is a bit more to the celebration of the passage of time. Maybe this isn’t a time to make changes but to look inward and see who you really are and what you really want.
I’m finding that you need to put your stuff out there, amongst people who don’t always agree with you if you want to grow. Honestly, I’ve known this for a long time. But how do you get people who differ from you to hear you out in a world where so many people are quick to drop anyone from their life who doesn’t unilaterally support them? How do you get people to open up to you?
First, you need to look at how you approach interactions. It matters less who is right or wrong and more about how people feel interacting with you. No matter who you are speaking with and what you are speaking about, it is critically important to try to leave them thinking that even if they don’t agree with you, they felt heard. They felt like they could share their thoughts and answer follow up questions. The last part is a lot more critical than you realize. If people don’t feel like they can clarify their position, then they probably won’t have a good feeling about the interaction. They will not feel seen and they are less likely to engage with you in the future.
Most people know that not all of their ideas will be accepted and incorporated. However, they want to have a chance to share them. If you don’t give people a forum to speak, they will take their best ideas elsewhere.
Second, you need to subdivide your message into manageable bite sized pieces. You may have the best idea in the world but if it is presented in an overwhelming manner, almost nobody will take it in and spend some time pondering it. Human attention spans have always been short. With the current access to information and the ability to quickly switch it off or move on to something new, most people’s attention span will not be getting any longer. So you need to get them hooked quickly and make a part of your point succinctly. You will often need to elevator pitch someone. Admittedly, I don’t love this. I enjoy long-form story telling. I like losing myself in a long story from someone else. But most people tune out and move on quickly, even if there are only two of you in the room. Know this and use this.
Third, it has to generate a response. You have to make them care. You can talk to me until you are blue in the face about New Zealand’s corporate tax scheme. I will never provide feedback no matter how well you present it and how important your issue is. I don’t live in New Zealand, it just doesn’t really matter.
So, what should you put out there to help you look inward. You need to look at how you make decisions. This is central to anyone’s character. When given choices, what do you choose. What are your guiding principles. What must be preserved above all else? You need to think about these things. You need to understand what your decisions really do. You need to know that people will be looking at what you prioritize and why it matters. This is who you are. It does’t matter what slogan you put on the wall, it matters what you do when you are faced with a decision. It matters what you put first in order to get what you want.
If you want to do the impactful new year activity, look at how you make decisions. It will make the biggest difference.
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