Balance

I am again traveling for my job. I'm on a layover in Toronto. As I was sitting on the plane I was thinking about how this is way too familiar. I have my earbuds in, listening to music, trying to nap. I do it a lot which must mean I'm traveling a lot. I will admit I have managed to slow down my work travel a bit but is still a reality in what I do. I understand the need for it. Unfortunately, that doesn't make it any more enjoyable.

I have never been great at living a balanced life. It's not that I don't want to I just seem to put a lot importance on my job. I tend to sacrifice other areas of my life to devote more time and effort to the job. There is a definite upside to it. I managed to accumulate the skills and experiences to be promoted. I get to take on new and sometimes exciting challenges. In exchange for that I have missed family activities. I have lost track of people. Of course, this was before we could nearly live online. Ultimately there is a cost to being successful in an aspect of your life, we all pay it.

I know people who put their homelike first. It is more important to be around family than to advance in their career. This is also a choice. Like me they give up something for a benefit elsewhere.

So, I was thinking to myself, why do I default to the work position? Why do I feel the need to put the organization I work for ahead of nearly anything else?

Somewhere along the way I started to identify with what I do. This was before my current position or even my current employer. I think part of it was I like nice things and want to have more than the basic requirements. I will be honest, when you don't have to worry week to week if you are going to be able to cover the bills and you have some cash left over to do some of the things you want to, a lot of stress disappears. I don't know if it really makes you less stressed, I think it just frees up some stress tolerance to be applied toward your job. I don't feel stressed in the day to day duties but being away always adds a bit. Hoping you don't miss your connection and your ride is there when you arrive are never without some worry. Changing time zones, sleeping in strange beds, and eating at funny times wear on the body. Missed workouts make you feel sluggish. It's just the way it is.

This still doesn't really explain why I choose to have a challenging job that leads to an unbalanced life.

Part of me likes the challenge. Knowing you do something that not everyone is capable or willing to take on is rewarding. On those days when something comes together you can feel like you are on top of the world. Making it better or helping someone is definitely its own reward. Not every job has that. However, to be in a position for those things to come to pass, you have to travel, take work home, make your deadlines, make unpopular decisions, and put your job ahead of a lot.

There still must be a way to live a more balanced life.

I think part of the secret is to know what is productive and important and what is work for the sake of work. That can be difficult. What seems useless to you may produce key information for decision makers elsewhere in the organization. If there is truly no value then it should be eliminated. If it produces very little value for a lot of effort then it should be evaluated. If we can reduce workload without reducing effectiveness then it can be easier to be more balanced in life. Unfortunately, you may become even more unbalanced while you are trying to make it better and that may look like more effort than its worth. As a result, you are stuck in an unbalanced life.

I'm trying to be a bit more balanced. I'm not sure if I'm really doing a great job but, as I more forward, I hope that I can get it sorted out, even if it's just a little bit better.